No, the title doesn't refer to how I'd write a personal ad.. it refers to the first line of a Pet Shop Boys song from the album Bilingual.

It was the tenth album by the Pet Shop Boys. It was released in 1996 but I bought it in 1997 during my first term at university- Kent at Canterbury.

I remember buying it from one of my neighbours, it was either Andy (the pot head studying science fiction [no, me neither]) or Sven (the post-grad at the end of the corridor).

One of them needed money for something really quickly so were selling every item in their room or something. Or they really hated the album but thought that as a "newly out gay" I'd like it automatically.

Having been somewhat conservative in my musical tastes growing up I decided that it was probably a requirement of being accepted as a gay to own at least one album by the pet shop boys.

So I forked over a tenner (it was a lot of money then!) and clutched my album and listened to it.

I remember liking a couple of tracks and hating a couple of the others. I remember like "Se a vida é (That's the Way Life Is)" but that was because everyone liked it at that point. It was summery, latin and had a lovely video filmed by Bruce Weber.

The following summer I listened to the album over and over and one song- metamorphosis, really influenced my (re)writing of Alice in Wonderland for the Drama Soc 24 hour drama. (There was a review of it knocking around on the internet and I can't find it) Alice in Wonderland had 5 different actresses playing Alice and the cheshire cat (where metamorphosis filtered through my brain) was played with a grin-on-a-stick.