Culture is a funny thing. I like to think of myself as "cultural" but realise that term carries a lot of baggage for most people. They hear the word "cultural" and think elitest, snobbery etc. They don't hear or see themselves. There's "culture vultures" and "cultural revolution"- there aren't cultural teaparties or cultural clubs. I was sat with my friend Greg last week and we playfully argued over which plays were performed in which years with which casts at the RSC. We'd seen a number of overlapping performances. (He's seen the whole canon of Shakespeare and I've got two Shakespeares and an disputed play to see and I've done the whole canon. Just a few months before my 30th Birthday target!)

I've always adored outsiders and cultural works at the fringe of society. I have my first year at University to thank for that. In one of my modules we were taken to see a number of really really out there performers. In one term I saw Ron Athey, Annie Sprinkle, Franko B, Kate Bornstein, Blast Theory, Diamanda Gallas and read a book called Out of Character by Mark Russell (see link here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Out-Character-Mark-Russell/dp/0553374850/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207644296&sr=8-7). It's a collection of rants, raves and monologues by American performance artists. I went from thinking I was a bit edgy to discovering I was very mainstream and very white bread. These people pointed down a dark alley and off I tripped. It's from that place that I hope to write, the personal, the political, the cultural centre of who I am.

This was where I first encountered Tim Miller. I read his words on a page and they leapt into my heart. I read an extract of his work called the "Maw of Death". I remember saying to my tutor "I want to write like him" to which she said "Write like yourself...". And that's advice I've been coming back to again and again throughout my professional and personal life. (What does Ben Whitehouse do? What does Ben Whitehouse sound like?) It was advice that was echoed by Lee Simpson when I worked on the Improbable theatre workshops during my time with Innovista. He looked at me and asked "Why are you always trying to be someone else?". That stopped me in my tracks. I was. I was playing roles and characters that had no root anywhere in who I am.

I've also really enjoyed being deep in mainstream culture. I freely admit to being a Buffy fan. I like Skins. I like "chick flicks". I enjoy Gossip Girl, the OC, the hills (like the OC only real!). I loved Hairspray (both versions). I cried lots at Angels in America. I love Jurassic Park (all three). I firmly believe Mean Girls to be a significant cultural document- it's the only good Lohan film out there and it changed my life. (Tina Fey is perhaps a signal of the second coming)

I really liked how Cloverfield came along and blasted Blair Witch out of the water. And then along came Diary of the Dead. And Rec. Reality and fiction meet head on.

Which brings me to deal or no deal. Possibly the greatest cultural document this generation has and the closest we'll get to experiencing Ancient Greek theatre without the masks. Individuals go up against a faceless deity figure and fight to the death. The audience are referred to as "pilgrims"- adding further religious imagery to the event. Each show is random and individual but people claim there's a "curse of the newbie" or an individual player has "killed a number of games". There's no real through narrative but it gets created- our search for meaning and making a sense out of the senseless overrules. Jojo (who I work with) is convinced it's a cult and one day there's going to be a mass suicide pact. I've offered myself as a contestant for DOND, hopefully I'll get on.