By the way...

1) When the money's available, take it.

2) There is a time when panic is the appropriate response.

These two laws were created by Eugene Kleiner who was a technology boffin in Silicon Valley.

I like them.

Wild Tigers I have known

Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros.

Whilst watching 28 weeks later and Zodiac over the weekend I got subjected to a number of awful looking torture flicks.

Here's just a few of them.

Paradise lost.
A group of American and Australian tourists find themselves at first enchanted and then terrorised by locals in Brazilian paradise. Something these trailers have in common is usually a woman staring directly into camera pleading breathlessly that they want to "go home". Is this some kind of sick kick people get, a feeling of power? I don't understand it. This films website also features an "operation game". I dread to think.

Vacancy.
The publicity says "Soon-to-be-divorced couple David and Amy Fox (Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale) are driving through the sticks at night when they experience car trouble. Forced to check into a run-down motel, they soon realise that management don’t intend for them to last the night"
In the trailer Wilson sees a couple of videos and says "I hope it's porn". But it turns out to be the last occupants of the room. The invasion of privacy would be ok if it were porn? But it's not. It's violence. A couple get the bejeesus kicked and beaten out of them and then they realise they're trapped. It's a little bit hostel and a little bit Psycho (the film...). Psycho managed to be a shock thriller without showing any actual violence. It was hinted at, suggested and cleverly done. Filmmakers need to go back and learn some lessons from Hitchcock.
 
Hostel 2.
More gratuitous schlock horror rubbish for teenagers to enjoy. Hostel went out of its way to be gorier that Saw and try and steal that cult niche. Apparently in Hostel 2 you can watch a woman get hung upside down and sawn in half from the crotch to the neck. More naked women for the teenagers and more guts and gore for the schoolkids to compare notes on... When did this become something we enjoy as entertainment?

Captivity.
This is the one that caused all the controversy with the explicit posters across LA. Free publicity ahoy!
A guy on the Empire website says "Well i'm happy to report that according to Imdb and what I can see from the trailer we get a healthy dose of Cuthbert in some sexy outfits". She's being tortured and killed. But it's ok 'cause she's in sexy outfits. I really do worry about men sometimes.

Apparently after the first test screening they re-shot 25% of the film, was this because it wasn't any good? Was it to adjust some of the polemic of the film? No, it was to beef up the gore.

The "sexy outfits" guy also says "It seems like this movie is really made for it's fans". Who can be a fan of this sort of torture porn? You want to watch her tied up, bound and gagged and being worked on with a few knives.

So... that's a few films I'll be avoiding over the summer. I'll go watch Jindabyne instead.

Sweet Lord in heaven...

I'm worthless.

The internet told me so.

For the original post see: http://technorati.com/weblog/2005/10/55.html

I saw last week that there was a story of a secretary mentioning her myspace profile in a job application but foolishly said that she was a "technophobe" or a "retard when it came to computers". Needless to say, she didn't get the job.

The reason I mention this is that I mentioned my blog in a job application... good idea or bad idea?

McDonalds have worked with some of the more negative marketing going around on the internet. Douglas Coupland (author of Generation X and other zeitgeisty novels) coined the phrase “McJob” in the novel Generation X meaning a low-paying, low-prestige job that requires few skills and offers very little chance of intracompany advancement. Not surprisingly, McDonald's doesn't think that is an accurate characterisation of their employment opportunities. As a result, the Illinois-based company is pumping out an advertising blitz with posters at over 1,200 restaurants that play up “the positive aspects of working for McDonald's,” complete with the snappy catch-phrase, “Not bad for a McJob.” Additionally, in May, it will begin offering its employees “the opportunity” to sign a petition urging dictionaries to turn “McJob” into something more positive.

While it's understandable that McDonald's wants to shed its reputation as a 21st-century Dickensian workhouse (would you like fries with that?), it is equally understandable that the public will and should be suspicious of its publicity machine. Given the very reputation it is trying to shed, this petition drive sounds particularly prone to corruption. After all, would an employee who wants to keep his or her job, however “unstimulating” it may be, refuse a boss's request to sign such a piece of paper? Insubordination is usually grounds for termination. Moreover, managers will probably be motivated to get as many signatures as possible, opening the door to forgeries and petition stuffing. With all the extra attention that McDonald's will start drawing, things could easily backfire. If people see the company's motives as disingenuous, they may start poking around and shed light on nasty stereotypes that turn out to be true. When all is said and done, the term may end up becoming more popular than ever. Perhaps a better strategy for McDonald's would be to spend less money trying to clean up its image after the fact, and more money creating a genuinely stimulating and better paying workplace. Then maybe “McJob” would become an oxymoron, its usage would change and dictionaries would voluntarily adjust the definition.

Express your outrage/disgust/hilarity at the Polish government being homophobic: cirinfo@kprm.gov.pl

I see that the Ombudsman for children’s rights, Ewa Sowinska (yes, it's the same one who wants to investigate Tinky Winky) wants to prepare a list of jobs where "homosexuals will be banned”.

I wonder if the list of jobs were homosexuals will be banned will include the church? Politics? You don't want homosexuals pushing their agenda at the top do you?

Can we revoke the Polish membership to the EU?

I thought America already looked into this issue… and sure enough a quick google search tells me that Reverend Jerry Falwell (who died recently), a former spokesman for America's Moral Majority, denounced the BBC TV children's show. He said it did not provide a good role model for children because Tinky Winky is gay. In an article called Parents Alert: Tinky Winky Comes Out of the Closet, he says: "He is purple - the gay-pride colour; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay-pride symbol."

He said the "subtle depictions" of gay sexuality are intentional and later issued a statement that read: "As a Christian I feel that role modelling the gay lifestyle is damaging to the moral lives of children." In the same article he also condemned the US animated show South Park as "vile and impudent".

The show was first broadcast on US public TV spring 1998 where it is now as popular as another children's show, Barney, a singing dinosaur. But perhaps parents should beware of Barney as well - he also happens to be purple.

So back to Poland…

A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle.

The spokesperson for children's rights in Poland, Ewa Sowinska, singled out Tinky Winky, the purple character with a triangular aerial on his head.

"I noticed he was carrying a woman's handbag," she told a magazine. "At first, I didn't realise he was a boy."

EU officials have criticised Polish government policy towards homosexuals. Ms Sowinska wants the psychologists to make a recommendation about whether the children's show should be broadcast on public television.

Poland's authorities have recently initiated a series of moves to outlaw the promotion of homosexuality among the nation's children.

Tinky Winky's psychological evaluation is being treated fairly light-heartedly by many people here.

One radio station asked its listeners to vote for the most suspicious children's show. Some e-mailed in, saying that Winnie the Pooh had only male friends.

Even Ms Sowinska has backtracked a little, insisting that she does not believe the Teletubbies is a threat to the nation's children. But the evaluation is still going ahead and her office can recommend that the show should be taken off the air.
Poland was criticised recently after its education ministry announced plans to sack teachers who promote homosexuality.

Last month the European Union singled out Poland for criticism in its resolution condemning homophobia in the 27-member bloc.

This whole things is so absurd. Winnie the Pooh was friends with Kanga who's a single mother. I never knew purple was a gay colour. I never knew SpongeBob squarepants was gay. He's on Nickelodeon and is seen as an icon for adult gay men in the US, apparently because he regularly holds hands with his sidekick Patrick.

How can an adult actually stand up and proclaim, to the media, to the world, with a straight face, with no sense of irony or shuddering humiliation or an overpowering sense that they are, in fact, contributing quite nicely to the overall violent ignorance of the planet, come right out and announce that a wildly popular and much-loved cartoon character/kids character is, actually and truly, probably gay.

An adult. Who went to school and university. (Probably) I just don't understand it. Can someone explain it to me.

Does it get any better than this?

Rosie and Sufjan perform a haunting version of REM's "The one I love".

She's quickly becoming one of my favourite singers. (And he's been a firm favourite for a long time!)

There's a large number of box set DVD's out there for the Star Wars series of films. Which one should I get?

I live in the UK & would prefer not to pay a huge amount on postage. I don't want to buy a bootleg DVD. I'm not hugely fussed about the recent "Parts 1,2 & 3" so would prefer to buy the "original" trilogy. I'd like to buy them in a boxset and really enjoy special features like documentaries, interviews etc.

Post your ideas and links as a comment.

Thanks!

28 Weeks Later is a terrifying sequel to Danny Boyle's apocalyptic hit about zombies roaming the empty streets of London.
 
It isn't really something I suggest you go and see early in a day as it might spoil it. It's also one of the greatest films about London I've seen in a long while. It's a strangely nice feeling (and also terrifying) to see London turned into killing fields.

You're doomed I tell you. DOOMED!

One particularly spectacular scene involves an Apocalypse Now-style rain of fire. Death from above!!! The difference is that it's not the jungles of Vietnam that are torched, but the buildings of Canary Wharf.

It's a thought-provoking moments with heart-stopping scares (a couple of times I did cover my eyes or not look directly at the screen), the film is both terrifying and thrilling: a worthy successor to 28 Days Later.

I saw zodiac yesterday right after seeing 28 weeks later (I'll get onto that one next)

Zodiac is a bleak and uncompromising mammoth film about murder and its investigation.

It feels like David Fincher is out to make the "anti-Se7en", (Se7en is a good film but spent a little too long exploring close up the seedy underbelly of gruesome violence).

Zodiac, on the other hand, faces up to what murder really is. The film recreates the mood and feel of the 1970s in meticulous detail (I wasn't there but I imagine that's what the 70's felt like).

It's a disturbing but profoundly moral film.

And people who say "It was three hours of my life I'm not getting back" and the bloke sat behind me who said "That was a pile of wank".

SHAME on you!

I was just watching on youtube the footage from Russian gay protests where two West European MPs and a Russian gay rights leader were arrested in Moscow. The reason they were arrested? The violence was directed at them. Anti-homosexual protesters threw kicks, punches and eggs at the gay rights group, chanting "Moscow is not Sodom".

The gay rights demonstrators were trying to deliver a petition to the mayor of Moscow, demanding the right to stage public marches. Article 7 of the Universal declaration of Human rights says “All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.”

Article 9 says “No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.”

Article 18 and 19 say:

19: Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

I don't often get passionate about sport.

I usually only pay attention to some of the cricket, bits and pieces of rugby here and there and formula one.

Lewis Hamilton drove a really fast and almost error-free race on the streets of Monte Carlo yesterday to finish second in the Monaco Grand Prix behind his McLaren team-mate Fernando Alonso.
 
I guess I get my love of all things F1 from my Dad. We'd spend many a Sunday afternoon watching cars go round and round tracks around the world. And as I've grown up I have the mantra of the order of the races.

There has been intense speculation that the race might be the opportunity for Hamilton to force his first win in Formula 1, but any chance he had of winning was taken away from him by a team strategy that prevented him from catching the Spaniard.

There's nothing quite like a cheeky witty underwear ad to raise a smile on a wet Monday morning.

Listening to the reith lectures recently and also the lovely TED talks.

I'm convinced that there's something in open source leadership.

Open source is a set of principles and practices that promote access to the production and design process for various goods, products and resources or advice. The term is most commonly applied to the source code of software that is made available to the general public with relaxed or non-existent IP restrictions. This allows users to create user generated software content through incremental individual effort or through collaboration.

Open source, like the blogosphere, is a grassroots movement. Try not to let the grassroots lull you into believing that it is about one or two people with an idea or cause. (Although sometimes having a blog means that you get into a conversation with one or two people and convince yourself you're talking to the world when really you're in an echo chamber)

Today's grassroots ideas on the net become viral in days, scaling in volunteers to what would make any organization or marketeer cry for mercy or celebrate in the streets.

So how does this apply to political leadership?

Most of the candidates in the US election have blog pages and ways to get involved. The deputy leadership contenders have webpages, facebook profiles etc. The tipping point for open source leadership is only a few clicks away. Soon connecting to a "leader" won't only be possible by having to confront them in the street. It'll be a click away, an email away and they'll be your friend on facebook, they'll be leaving you comments on your blog. It's exciting to see this sort of real democracy happening!

North Korea has fired several short-range missiles towards the Sea of Japan, Japan's Kyodo news agency reports.

That's all we need, North Korea showing off it can make it's short range missiles head in the direction of Japan. Japan will get scared, feel the need to show off it's military prowess by sending boats into the sea of Japan. North Korea shows off it's military by making missiles go further or massing troops on borders or loading them onto boats and we end up with Asia facing off against each other.

If we're really lucky Russia will wade in too. They'll throw support behind someone and the genie's out of the bottle and we're all looking for bunkers and updating our CV's.

Horrible acts of inhumanity.

Honour killings are something I have a real problem with.

I can't begin to express my shock and horror at the footage from CNN.

The idea of taking someone out into the street and stoning them because the person they're dating isn't someone you like just shocks me. I guess if I was gay there I'd get a similar treatment. It's sobering to think that there are places only hours away by plane that feel like their still in the Biblical era.

I won a bottle of Champagne. Hurrah!

I completed the smallest quickest crossword at the first post. Quite proud of myself.

Tonight I've bought a ticket for "The Dresser". It's the only ticket available. I'm going to be both audience and performer.

In The Dresser, Christopher Green (Tina C) is an actor about to go on stage who is in need of a dresser. I get shown in to a dressing room by an attendant, have been brought in to help him out.

‘Hi,’says Green from where he sits in front of the mirror, draped in a horrible silky dressing-gown, ‘thanks so much for coming, I’m really sorry you got roped into doing this. It’s such a nightmare,’

And at that point the scripting stops, something is required of me.

Together we'll be concocting a story with a genuine sense of complicity that is impossible to achieve in conventional theatre.

I imagine I'll have to soothe his primadonna nerves and it'll be funny, moving and interesting.

Christopher Green is well known as Tina C – a fictional Nashville singer who comes across like the lovechild of Tammy Wynette and Julian Clary and who has performed her hits like ‘If These Walls Could Speak (They’d Be In Therapy)’ and ‘No dick is as hard as my life’ across the world.

I'm really looking forward to it and terrified too.

I occassionally put on my predicting hat and wonder where things will go.

Today I wondered about theatre and rules and regulations.

Perhaps one day, Health and Safety requirements will have become so stringent and the risk of being sued so high that no one can afford to perform anything but gently moving non-controversial acts to an audience that has signed away its rights.

My friend Chris sent me a text early this morning to say that the Cutty Sark was on fire.